HOWARD’S WAY

`Twas the night before Christmas, I had sorted the cleaning Not a Hoffman was stirring, not even for steaming; The suits had been hung on the rails with care, In hopes that the customers would soon be there;

When out at the shop front there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the staff room to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Saw the register open and chock full of cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the outline of footprints all in a row, When, to my wondering eyes what should appear? But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a sprightly old driver, so lively and wee, I knew, in a moment, it must be... MARC. More rapid than eagles the reindeer they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vxen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen! Give the cleaner his rebate, let'd give him it all! 'Tis the season of good will, isn't that cool?"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, Down the chimney came Taxman, with a big bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. I can clean these, says I, and bring newness back, Wetclean or dryclean? Or laundered out back?

The stump of a ticket he held tight in his hand, And using my epos, the ticket I scanned; But it's dated last year, you've already collected, T'was a red Santa suit that you had neglected.

"Its pockets were torn and the fur collar was grey, The care label itself had been cut away," I said, as he twisted his jaws, "You can't collect twice, it's in our clause!"

He spoke not a word, but went straight back outside, No rebate for me, I just could have cried, His exit was speedy, he slid on the snow, I tried not to smile or say Ho Ho Ho;

He sprang to his sleigh, and then paused in thought, It seemed the season's good spirit, he had suddenly caught And I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, 2022 IS IN SIGHT!"